“…the war goes on—an ache in the bones, an ache in the gut, an ache in the heart.”— Susan Sontag, from I, etcetera: Stories
(via ascensionnebula)
I thought that I needed to have a quiet love, a tame love, because every other love had been passionate and deep but it also crashed and burned. So I tried the slow burn. I tried patience in a different way, I tried comfort and simplicity. Not to say it wasn’t bad. But there’s something missing. I miss talking until 1am about hopes and fears and life and perspective. I miss finding out the deepest parts of a persons soul and I miss the honesty. I miss someone wanting to break down the wall I have, knowing there’s something deeper, asking the right questions, having the conversations. About art, social justice, what moves you. I miss late night adventures & planning adventures. So what sucks is I’ve tried to bury the passion, bury the unconditional love I have for a partner because so many times it’s been abused and I don’t want to be hurt like that again. But it’s always going to be there, restless, waiting to be shared. I just hope that when I do choose to open it all up again it’s finally with someone that takes care of it.
